FUNK ON THEM AGAIN--WE ARE NO ACCIDENT-GHOST GARDEN NEWS

start a garden, grow something, anything, garden pics galore, bugs too

It’s no accident we’re all here living through the most historical time period humanity has ever known. A depopulation agenda by psychopaths and in my opinion parasitical aliens of which we will have to deal with sooner or later. My opinion on the aliens comes from my own personal experiences with them. Those experiences were either designed by Universe or I just happened to get on their radar, or a little of both. The spirit world confirms my alien encounters as do two hypnotherapists.

Since it is no accident that we’re all here at this time point in human history, and we have rejected participation in their depopulation program, I will go out on a limb and say they have a serious fucking problem with us. It seems foolish to think Universe would then have us all killed off by these fuckers some other way other than their preferred kill shot. I believe we will counter any way they attempt to kill us thus making us their serious fucking problem. There’s a spiritual element that they might be overlooking. I’m not referring to religion either. They are sluffing it off. Big mistake.

Just one month after my paranormal explosion I ran a recorded session. On sessions where I don’t talk I call them silent sessions. Silent applying only to the physical, not the spirits. At time point 43 minutes and twenty-five seconds the recorder captures a spirit saying ACCIDENT.

Audio file looped X2.

I was once asked if I’d be willing to do a presentation in front of a group of paranormal / ET researchers. I agreed. The accident audio was one of the class A EVP’s I selected to present before the group. However, after they seen my alien material that I was going to present they canceled my presentation. They say they want alien disclosure but when presented with hard evidence they run from it. It is my opinion these alien groups are government shill organizations to snuff out or steal real evidence, so it doesn’t get out. But, they are fine with flying saucer pictures. They love those.

I’ve mentioned in a garden talk session that it appears that I am far more popular in the spirit world than I am in the physical. I’ve made claims that I am the most haunted human alive and that my garden is the most haunted garden on planet earth so I said to myself, “PROVE IT.”

In the physical I pretty much live as an introvert. I don’t have much family beyond a few cousins and one aunt and an uncle. My Facebook family and friends is resting comfortably on number 56. I don’t think I even know half of them and having nearly 500 subscribers to my Substack blows my mind. Nothing to some Substack writers but to me it’s a lot. Maybe too many. I think I should cap it off here.

The big problem is how do I set up a paranormal test to prove my popularity in the spirit world. What I did was take a session and document all of the spirits who come through in a one-minute time period. Most only say one sentence of just one word. I only documented voices. I didn’t count knocks, pops, or any other paranormal sounds. Each spirit has their own distinct voice just as we do. If a spirit came through multiple times I only counted the voice one time so as not to pad the number. I wanted as close to an exact, real number that I could get.  

On a word doc I then started counting each spirit that came through. An example would look like this.

00:03—Hi Mike. (F)

It has time point, what the spirit said and identified as a female. If there is a voice that I can’t identify I put a (U) for unknown. I did this for one minute and I believe the number was 220. Two hundred and twenty separate spirits in a one-minute period. If we calculate it out over ten minutes it is then 2,200. Does that seem like a lot to you? Wait, it calculates out to 13,200 for sixty minutes. Why stop there. It then calculates out to 316,800 over 24 hours. What do we have going on in the garden a fucking rock concert? Sometimes we do. Of course, I can’t prove those numbers but the spirits have confirmed them as accurate. If true I’d say I am far more popular over there than over here wouldn’t you agree?

One of the top questions I’d hear the spirits ask is, “Who’s house is this?” It would always be answered, “This is Mike’s house.” I then got an idea to take that response and paint it on the back of the garden box. Afterwards I rarely hear the spirits ask who lives here. If they do I’m guessing the spirits just point to the back of the box.

Ghost Garden News

One night I saw clouds form a pair of lips. My wife confirmed that she could see it too.

A friend stopped by the garden with a bottle of wine. She loves a good cheap bottle. The cheaper the better. She rarely pays more than $4.00.

This friend is our only employee at Bird Haus Bar & No Grill. She’s cheap so we pay her cheap. Can you see the cheap snacks in her bag? She has one of my bird houses and it rents out every year which makes her incredibly happy, but she still takes Prozac. One of my dumbass doctors told me once he thinks they should add Prozac to our water. I don’t know if you know this about me but I’m not a fan of doctors.

Ghost Gardens isn’t just ghosts. It’s plants, animals and insects and I study them all. I find them all so fascinating. I’m like a kid in a candy store in the garden. Every day I learn something new about animal life, plant life or insect life. Professors at universities love people like me who document their discoveries. They then take that information and write books, and are awarded tenure as a college professor and are given grant money to take trips all over the world and seek out more people who have bug information, plant information or bird information. It’s the greatest fucking job ever and if this isn’t my last lifetime I’m coming back as one of those fuckers not as a bus driver / writer in a genocide.

I have two bird houses currently rented out. Black cap chickadees rent both.

This house is a duplex model and the renters chose the bottom half. I would have taken the top. Much nicer view. A few years ago I had one of the boxes rented out. I waited until I knew all had fledged the nest. I then took the box down and opened the clean out trap door only to discover five dead chickadees. What happened? It’s very possible mom and dad could have been killed by a predator. Both killed seems highly unlikely so wouldn’t the one surviving attempt to continue to feed the babies? I went with an assumption that one or more of the babies died inside the nest during feeding and the parents abandoned the nest. I was comfortable with that until a few days ago. New information for Mr. Ornithologist college professor that I want to be if there is a next life time for me.

My wife and I were out lounging in the garden enjoying a $7.99 bottle of chardonnay when we saw our chickadee fly out of the bird house carrying something, crash into our umbrella over the table and drop something and keep on flying. My crow swooped down immediately, and I quickly went over and the crow flew off.

I was shocked to find a dead baby chickadee. What, they remove their dead babies? Holy hypothesis!!!!  This blows my hypothesis that they abandoned the nest if one dies during the feeding cycle.

How did the parent get her dead baby chick out of the nest? How did the parent pull it through the hole? Where was the parent taking it? How was the parent able to fly with a chick that weighs almost as much as they do?

I assumed the parent pushed the dead chick from inside the nest up to the hole, then hopped out and reached in and pulled it out onto the porch. Glad I built a porch now. It then picked it up somehow and began to fly off. Why not just push it off the porch?

My crow wouldn’t leave. It wanted this dead chick which told me something about the crow. It has obviously seen this before. Has Professor Ornithologist ever seen this? No way. This is one of those bird experiences we rarely if ever get to witness. If I hadn’t been there the crow would have taken the dead chick and I’d never know it happened.

For a week I’ve been chasing a butterfly in an attempt to photograph it. I just sat down in my rocker with my second beer when I see it enter the garden. I fly out of my chair past my wife and it lands on my strawberry plant.

“GOT YOU,” I shouted. It then flew over to my marigolds and landed.

“GOT YOU AGAIN,” I shouted. I was thrilled beyond belief. I told my wife I’m done for the day. I won’t need sex for three months start the party and crank the music.

First rose to bloom goes to Mr. Lincoln.

My new Marilyn Monroe rose bush now has buds, and my JFK is just starting its new shoots. It has the slows. I’m thinking of adding a Rosie the Riveter plant but it kind of wrecks my JFK sex partner theme. I was going to get the Bridget Bardot rose bush next. Does anyone know if president JFK had an affair with Rosie the Riveter?

An insect flew past me that was almost invisible. I followed it until it landed then zoomed in and took a picture. It is resting on an English laurel plant. Bees love English Laurel plants. It’s true. Look it up.

Is that fucking cool or what? Right next to it I see an ant on a branch. I zoom in on it and take a picture.

A spider is resting on my Willie’s Reserve plant. Willie Nelson turned 90 this year and is still touring even after being vaccinated. The CDC has tried to get him to be a spokesperson for the vaccine but he said FUCK YOU. EAT SHIT AND DIE.

Zoomed in.

My wife has officially declared me insane, but FUN. I’ll take that all day long.

A few other spider pictures I took recently and one of them got in the house.

Nothing to fear. Just capture it and place it in the garden. No worries. No need to call a bug spraying company or rush down to Home “Monsanto,” Depot and buy spider killer spray.

Billions of potato bugs but don’t eat them. They don’t taste like potato chips.

We’ve had a stink bug infestation in my area for a few years.

 It’s driving my neighbors crazy. I tell them calm down, chill out, they’re not cockroaches. Just catch them and release them outside. Don’t freak and race to Home Monsanto for bug killer.

I had a stink bug experience that any Professor Entomologist would die for. I captured a stink bug in my house and took it out in the garden. We all know they have little wings and can barely fly. Wrong. These fuckers can really fly. I threw the stink bug outside and normally they just fall to the ground and walk off. This stink bug started flying and flew up around 40’ and into a tree. I freaked out on my wife about it all day long. She kept telling me to shut up and get over it. I told her nobody has ever seen a stink bug fly 40’ feet in the air. I’m the only one. She said that is because I’m the only person alive interested in stink bugs.

My wife started a lavender farm and it is growing nicely.

It attracts a lot of bees. We need bees right? Some are advocating we eat them. They even describe the wonderful flavor of a bee. Let me guess. It has a honey flavor.

I’ve been looking for an old rocking chair for my front porch and my wife found one on a buy nothing site. FREE. I love free. I’m addicted to it. FREEDOM!! LAND OF THE FREE. A big Ha…Ha..on that last one.

My thinking for a front porch rocking chair is I could run a front yard rocking chair spirit session in the middle of the night while watching people attempt to steal catalytic converters off my neighbor’s cars parked in their driveway—two stolen on our cul-de-sac so far. I must really live in the poor side of town right? Nope. I live in Washington State. Inslee-stan as our in house VRR doc calls it. Steal anything you want without fear of prosecution. Our in house doc is the only doc I currently trust. All others are highly $uspect. As the great comedian Bill Hicks once sang, “Corporate fucking shill, you’re nothing but a whore in a capitalist gangbang. There’s a price on your head. Everything you say is $uspect.”

When I went to pick up the old rocking chair the woman had an even older one that I loved. She said that I wouldn’t want it because it needs work. Wrong. I wanted it more than I wanted the front porch rocker. My wife now has her own garden rocking chair.

I like rusty old chains, especially ones with a 16lb ball attached to it. My wife thinks I must have been chained up in a past life. I think she is right. The nest resting on the speaker is a Stellar’s Jay nest. Pretty cool nests.

The captured above is how I spent my recent Four-lough. I will now return to our war we are in and see what the turds twirling around the toilet bowl are doing, but remember this:

Eric looking at Derek Trucks and thinking, what the fuck. I’d like to sign Susan’s guitar.