Drag Me To RocHELLe

Movie night at the VRR headquarters--Horror, Sci-fi, comedy

A Harvard medical professor named RocHELLe HELLensky becomes obsessed with a transgender student that she met on a plane to a Satanic Jewish conference in Israel. The obsession turns romantic after three Bud Lites. The student however is possessed by 33 demonic entities which is five more than RocHELLe has living inside of her, but RocHELLe isn’t afraid because she’s five inches taller than he is and figures she has the edge should a demonic hell fight break out.

At the Satanic conference RocHELLe learns about a plot to murder almost everyone on the planet and wants in on it, but she’s shunned because of her transgender drag queen boyfriend. She decides to dump the little demonic transgender woke rat and tells him she’s decided to be a lesbian. She projectiles green puke that hits the transgender boy in the face and walks off. She’s then invited into the murder club. She’s thrilled and can’t stop smiling.

She flies back to the US and finds a letter informing her she is now the new director for the Center for Disease Control. Her head does a complete 360. She rehearses her lines day and night, “safe and effective, safe and effective, safe and effective and then the evil plot is launched by another low life scumbag demonic piece of shit in Washington State.

The first two years go as planned with only a few hiccups like when she went off script and said she learned their evil plot was 97% effective from CNN. RocHELLe starts making mistake after mistake and her evil dumbshit bosses are too stupid to notice. She’s dragging them all to hell….ha…ha….ha.

 A massive earthquake happens in Turkey and the earth opens up and sucks in RocHELLe and all of her evil friends and every other fucking politician and medical idiot who participated in the attempt to kill off humanity. Humanity wins. THE END, but then some parasitical aliens come up out of the ground and offer to exchange new microwave technology for the island of Hawaii. The new US president shakes hands in an agreement, but before the ink dries, he is sucked into the pit in Turkey along with all of the aliens. Humanity wins again. THE END--roll credits before something else happens.

I’m writing the sequel to the movie Drag Me To Hell. It’s a first pass, as you can tell, rough draft that I will, edit, re-write and eventually submit to Sam Raimi in hopes he likes it and will direct it. Hoping to get Sigourney Weaver to play RocHELLe. I liked her in Ghostbusters.

How does a director of an agency that isn’t a part of the Federal government, but is funded by the federal government, get an all-expense paid vacation from the taxpayers of the United States?

Curious minds want to know.

The rage builds.