Daily life in a 15 minute city

shit entertainment, shit food, and roads are blocked

The WSDOT picture below is the 520 bridge. The view is looking east away from Seattle. On the other side and off to the right is Bill Gates house. I believe deep state owned Macklemore’s side kick Ryan Lewis has a house over there as well. Who would have thought you could make so much money off really shitty rap music. The DS has deep pockets.

Macklemore had a bit part in the Marysville Pilchuck High school shooting hoax. He visited iron jaw Nate Hatch in the hospital. The media just happen to be there. Macklemore’s next concert was a sell out. Nate recovered quickly and was given the royal treatment from the Seattle Seahawks. The Seahawks went on to the Super Bowl.

I never found out the name of the surgeon who did reconstructive surgery on Nate’s face nor was there ever a photo take of the two. Nate’s grandfather was at his bedside when Nate woke up. His first words, “Grandpa there’s shrapnel in my chest.” His grandfather believes Nate is referring to the bullet that shattered when it hit Nate’s jaw.

If you’re planning to come to Seattle this weekend don’t. It’s going to be traffic hell. And if you really want to fuck up a pristine landscape build a goddamn concrete bridge across it. And the VRR HQ is somewhere in the faded mountains. Just stay on the road. I’m about 9.99 miles away from Bill’s house as a crow flies. I’d like to be a lot further away. And Evergreen hospital where the CV19 scam started is under the F in FOSTER. DOT explains life in a 15 minute city.

Why does the Washington State Department of Transportation think a threesome with Taylor Swift, the Jays, and Mariners would be interesting? Maybe she sings a bizarre version of the national anthem. I loved Rosanne Barr’s version. Maybe 13 more tickets get sold for the event.

To add to the misery Montlake bridge is closed. This means interstate five leading to downtown Seattle will be a guaranteed cluster fuck parking lot. Stock cold snacks, reading material and make sure you’re A/C is working in your car. I really don’t know why the DOT didn’t title this, IT’S A FUCKING MESS. PLEASE STAY HOME. WE FUCKED YOU OVER BIG TIME. IT’S TRUMP’S FAULT.

DOT encouraging everyone to consider transit. Buses won’t move any faster unless I’m driving. I use to know some kick ass shortcuts in and out of Seattle in hellish traffic conditions. TERMINATED.

Storm vs Sky at Climate Pledge Arena. A giant woman’s basketball game. Look at that name—Climate Pledge Arena. Wa. State is WEF owned. Ticket prices for this boring event that nobody cares about are:

Bargain in Seattle, but who will go? I have a great bar story involving these giant basketball women that I can’t go into, but standing in front of them with a beer in my hand I was staring at their exposed belly button. So was everyone else. They walked around the bar like giraffes.

Capital Hill block party all weekend is a gay fest event. Drag queens galore. Birkenstock sandals too. I once drove the number 11 route through Capital Hill on a Saturday night until 2am. No issues with any of the gays. Only one hit on me. A chef. He invited me over to his apartment and said he’d cook me a meal. I asked him if he knows some good pasta meals. It’s my wife’s favorite. He got off at the next stop.

Note DOT comment—Some other random closures scattered around. Ha…ha..ha..Mystery road closures that you randomly get to find. Fun.

Taylor Swift playing in the Seahawk stadium for two nights. Who is Taylor Swift? Ticket prices indicate she is bigger than the Rolling Stones and Led Zeppelin combined. Has the Rolling Stones, or Led Zeppelin ever been able to charge over $1,000 for a nosebleed seat? Have they ever played a 60,000 seat venue for two nights?

Purple indicates open seats available. Chris Stapelton just played this stadium and ticket prices were around $60.

Bite of Seattle all weekend. Hordes of people stuffing their mouth with garbage food if they can get there. There’s a lot of mustard stained shirts at this event. Daily entry $60.

“I can eat 50 eggs.”—Cool Hand Luke

Meanwhile about 30 miles south of Seattle there’s the city of Tacoma. Also called, stinky Tacoma. About a two hour drive from Seattle in rush hour. A comedian is doing a show there on Saturday night. His name is Matt Rife. Matt’s having a little trouble with ticket sales. Purple is open seats. Empty seats don’t laugh.

The above is what daily life will be like if the powers that think they be stuff us all into 15 second midget cities. A better idea—we stuff them in them.

Update 9:28am. There might be more. A lot more.

Update #2 5:14PM—Just hours away from the Taylor Swift concert. If she sells out Lumen field she will make $68,740,000. If she can do it again on Sunday she’ll make $137,480,00. $he could become a billionaire on this tour.