Your author in 2004

I had a lot of hair back then

“Pre-mature ejaculation is the ultimate compliment a man can pay a woman. Also, whomever gets there first wins.”—Homeless Comic

In 2004 I created a blog called the Homeless Comic. The idea came to me while sitting in my bus in downtown Seattle. Every other stop light had a homeless person with a sign. They’re still there. A thought, “What would my sign read?” Do they have a signage war? I know they have a corner street war and they will defend that corner violently if needed. $treet corners matter in their world. Could a sign make a difference?

The idea kicked around in my head and I started creating this character, his personality, his habits on the street, etc. Many of the characteristics being my own so there’s nothing to create just plunk me out on the street homeless—see if I can survive with a sign. HOMELESS MAN FREE. TAKE ME TO YOUR HOME.

I watched this video where they place a piano out on a street corner and passersby who know how to play a song would stop and play. One of the people who decided to play was a homeless man. It turns out that this filthy ragged man took a few piano lessons at some point in his life. He played like a concert pianist. A large crowd gathered around to listen and a collection was taken while he was playing and then given to him when he finished. He did what the homeless do, just walk off out into the concrete jungle.

The homeless character I created couldn’t play a piano but he could write. He could also draw goofy comics. Sometimes rude, but harmless. Immature too. Equal to any R rated movie today. I think it’s called adult humor.

The Homeless Comic would typically write about his daily adventures on the street. His readers called him HC. He’d include the title of his sign for the day, THIS SIGN IS 4 SALE $5.00, on the front and RENT MY TONG-UE on the back. He would give the daily location too. He’d also post his daily earnings also. See attached $00.00 looks familiar.

HC’s office was the public library. All of his friends were there too, but they weren’t an author with a rapidly growing blog called the Homeless Comic. Many bloggers wanted to link up to HC’s blog. He called it, “Slutting himself off.” HC was fine returning the slut favor to anyone else who had a blog. HC thought the more sluts the better with this 2004 street party. HC’s favorite saying, “Im no angel.”

Another feature to HC’s blog was what he called “the homeless word of the day like--troglodyte.” See attached. HC figured he learned about 16,732 words that he never knew existed. He found out nobody else knew they existed either. His readers seem to love the daily homeless word of the day. He would also attach the useless English words on his daily sign. DON’T BE A TROGLODYTE. I EAT MANGOS.

What prompted me to write this? You did. Yesterday I was going through all of my filed away papers looking for a train. Long story but it involves my cousin in California. We’re working together to find my dad’s steam train he built. Buy it if we can and bring it back into our family. This is a long shot and she’s running out of time.

I found some of my HC writings. One of the comments I was moved by once again. From Lou Lou. HC made her smile every day. Reading that gave me chills. Back then I immediately wrote an article to highlight Lou Lou’s comment. To show I appreciate her whoever, and wherever she is.

“Talent for writing, could go places, smile every day.” Wow. I should print this off and read it every day.

This post is kind of in memory of Lou Lou but it’s also about you too. On my post today, “Suddenly Dehydrated,” many of you posted similar comments. Lou Lou chills shot through me once again. Your comments made me think about Lou Lou, think about you.

Thanks to all for subscribing to my Substack and for all of your kindness, encouragement during this sick and fucking twisted war we are in. Maybe when it’s all over, they’re dead, we can all get drunk and naked and play ping pong, or just play records. So many choices.  Email me the address.

Last word, in 2004 HC was very aware elections are rigged and pointed it out to his readers. See attached comic exit polls, electronic math, and mysterious wonders .

I’ve been thinking of taking a writing break. Me fingers are a bit tired mate. VRR now has over 170 posts. Don’t clap yet. Wait until we can put handcuffs on those assholes.

Thank you.