“When the going gets weird the weird turn pro.”—Hunter Thompson
Who is Robert Kennedy Jr’s campaign manager—his wife? Who convinced him it would be good publicity as a front running presidential candidate to do a half-naked photo shoot on Pride weekend? It's getting weird ladies, and him’s.
The physical requirements for a presidential debate have changed or so it seems. The old requirements you had to be able to walk, stand, move your arms, make hand gestures, facial gestures, point, roll your eyes, and ignore a fly on your face. The last one is probably more mental than physical. We are now adding in pushups and bench-pressing X amount of weight without a shirt.
I’d like to see a little more physicality added in the debate.
Jumping jacks, sit-ups, run a sub-six minute mile, run a marathon under three hours, now who is qualified to be president of the United States? One of these two?
Possibly President and Vice President. Has there ever been a shirtless photograph of the President and the VP together?
I was a member at fitness clubs from 1980-2015, and I’ve never seen anyone workout in clothes like these two are wearing, or no clothes. There were dress codes. But, times are changing, getting weirder, we know that.
Robert isn’t the first politician to do pushups out in public, but he is the first to do it half-naked. I think. I’m not going any further down this rabbit hole. It’s just too fucking weird. Shown below is a former president who is also a democrat. Is this just a D thing?
President Obama’s husband also gets in on the pushup political promotion. Adding in a little tongue. Correction—a lot of tongue. The White House chef with 24-inch biceps called MicHELLe Obama a workout beast. Not surprising. MicHELLe was once rumored to have played football for a university in Oregon state. I believe he played defensive end or middle linebacker. She can easily bench press her husband.
I’d like our president to have some combat skills. A martial arts expert, Kung Fu, Ju-jitsu, Judo, muay thai kickboxing, just in case. Why not add it into the debates. Joe Biden should be all for a good scrap. “I’d take him out behind the gym and beat the hell out of him.”—Joe Biden
Just after the questions they will enter into semi mortal combat. First debate there’s three rounds of kickboxing. I’m torn for the next debate between Kung Fu and Ju-jitsu. If it is Ju-jitsu it must be a no gi. This might also bring in a needed president age restriction although Robert might object, Joe too.
What about adding guns to a debate? I think we need guns. Not just with a pistol but all types of weapons. Americans love guns, or most do. It’s in our constitution. It’s a part of us. A president should be an expert, a good shot just in case. Stop relying on secret service for protection. History has proven they fail. Although they can pop up anywhere at any time.
There’s some on the internet saying Roberts shirtless, look at my body, is the equivalent of Joe Biden falling off his bike in reverse. There’s also rumors that his campaign bank is empty. Welcome to my world. You can still grow a garden until they take your home. You can wander around as a vagabond and write about your adventures--shirtless if you want. If it makes you happy. In Washington State public transportation is free so there is transportation for vagabonds. When you board a bus in Wa. State and the driver asks you for fare say, “FUCK YOU. THERE’S YOUR FARE,” and go take a seat. Nothing will happen to you.
The money seemed to go fast. He only made his announcement three months ago. How much does it cost to run for president? Shouldn’t you secure the funds or know they’ll be there before running for president? Nobody does that. We know the maximum and individual can give is $3,300, wink wink. There’s that 33 number again.
The governor from my state ran for president. Nobody has been able to officially calculate the exact amount or find where the money went (look in one of the closets in the governor mansion). I’ve heard he spent as low as $2 million and as high as $8 million. Let’s just split it.
I’ve seen some of Robert’s friends and they are high rollers, but damn that $3,300 number is in the way, wink, wink. If only the high rollers could just distribute their money in the amount of $3,300 to contributors, they could easily raise $4 million dollars. Is it illegal to give away money in the amount of $3,300? Black Lives Matter didn’t have any problem doing it.
If Joe won’t debate Robert why not let Robert and Jake Tapper debate their ongoing argument since 2005.
Two democrats calling each other a liar. That’s different. Tappers claims should easily be provable in a debate. This would prove Robert isn’t lying, shame Tapper and add more shame to CNN. Either way one of them will be shamed. Risky for both men. We should demand it.
This is me freelancing the new weird. I need to slow it down a little, think it through and add more weaponry. Maybe remove my shirt too like I did last winter after climate change dumped a foot of fucking snow on my garden. Where’s the garden? Find it Mike.
Continuing on with climate change look at the new money laundering department created in King County; my former employer who terminated me for failing to participate in a medical experiment. My wisest decision in this lifetime so far. There’s still more time, more life. Maybe one more wise decision left in my old tired body.
“Nearly a decade of expertise.” Wouldn’t a weatherman—person, be the ideal candidate? Would Robert Kennedy Jr approve of this new Climate Change Office? Dow has 28 likes so far. Fun comments below.
If this gov scam, climate scam works well other blue states will open up their own climate change money laundering bureaucracy I accurately predict.
“I have failed you.”—Jimmy Swaggart
After my failure to get a photo of the lonely Bud Light at my designer grocery store I vagabonded it back there, (5.3mile roundtrip), shirt on all the way, and took this photo.
I immediately noticed the spacing and someone placed a VRR sticker on top of the Bud Light. Will that encourage someone to buy?
NEW BUD LIGHT MARKETING STRATEGY. Leave an empty space next to the Bud Light in an attempt to fool the beer drinking consumer into thinking others are actually buying it. Will it work? Unlike Safe “Woke” Way this designer grocery store isn’t offering any fourth of July rebates for shitty beer drinkers.
DISCRIMINATION!!!!! RACISTS!!!!!
I awoke this morning looking like Gary Buesy and thinking about guns.
See attached video for guns.
Great column this morning Mike!
and man, you are spot on as usual..... everything is so freaking strange theses days. but boy, ole RFK. jr is ripped. I've been going to the gym for 40 years and still hardly have any muscles, just keeps the beer belly from getting too big.
Maybe RFK, Jr. and Putin could duke it out for rights to Ukraine.... seem to recall Putin showing off his bare chest more than a few times in the past.
And yes, I think Big Mike could take them all, perhaps all at once!!!
In my youth I was a weird kid, a nerd, an outsider. But that weird is NOT the same weird we are seeing in society today.
More power to RFK Jr., I am impressed, he should have no problem walking up the stairs to AF1.
I was pleasantly surprised you are on board with the Big Mike truth. Yes, Oregon State, Corvallis.
I have a close relative who voted for Biden. I have tried sharing some facts with her, but I'm afraid she is permanently brainwashed. When I told her about Michelle she said I should be afraid to say things like that, I might be considered mentally ill, lol.
"Ask your doctor if Prigozhin is right for you." LOL