Caitlin Johnstone introduces a new US Presidential candidate

Welcome Pearls Kalamata

“I don’t know about YOU’ALLS, but I’m ready to fight.”--AOC

Caitlin said she’d rather vote for a jar of kalamata olives. Okay. Enter Pearls Kalamata as a candidate for President of the United States of Israel. Pearls wants to drop off the name Israel.

Posture is very upright showing big confidence while Trump pouts and Biden smirks. I’m struggling to identify the color. If you mix the colors blue and red you get purple. I think it’s purple, like a bruise. That kind of purple. The big bruise is on.

The name is powerful too—PEARLS. Humans love pearls. How does a sea creature manufacturer a pearl? It’s completely alien. Maybe there’s a connection there. Maybe Pearls will be the president who brings us alien disclosure. Will CNN be the chosen news source to make the breaking news announcement? Actually they already did that in the summer of 2015. Humans weren’t paying attention and now look at the mess we’re in.

 Americans love pearls too and they love kalamata olives. This new candidate could be the game changer. Stuffed between two want-a-be tough guy pussy’s Pearls will out tough both ass licking Israel candidates. When Pearls is asked how she might fix the economy after the successful Operation Warp Speed disaster Pearls will answer, “FUCK YOU ISRAEL. NO MORE MONEY. NO MORE WEAPONS FOR YOU’ALLS,” through an interpreter of course.

I’m with Caitlin. And Pearls isn’t cheap--$36.00. What does a $36.00 dollar olive taste like. Waaaaaay to expensive to stock in the VRR refrigerator. Do they have to be refrigerated? Can an olive pit be turned into a defensive weapon? Perhaps a seat cushion for a person with a bad back.

Which candidate would you rather invite to dinner?

MAKE KALAMATA OLIVES GREAT AGAIN, and arrest Donald Trump for Operation sloppy Warp Speed vaccine.