APRIL IS AFIB MONTH

Substack notifies me when I pick up five new subscribers in one day via an email. Why don’t they notify me when I lose five in one day—Garden Talk telepathy.

I first encountered this up and down subscriber roller coaster back in the late 90’s as a writer for Themestream. Thank God we weren’t paid based on a subscriber head count.

 I could write the most flowery article you’d ever want to read and immediately lose 15 subscribers. I wrote a lot about roses back then. I also wrote about political scum.

 I’d then write an article on what a low life piece of scum shit Bill Clinton is and immediately gain 12 new subscribers. After that I wrote an article on what a low life scumbag, murderous piece of shit George Bush Sr was and added a Barbara Bush rose plant in and and it immediately loses five subscribers.

The wonderful mysteries of being a writer.

When Professor Cannon wrote this message on my final essay, I had no choice but to pursue some type of writing career.

She doesn’t mention anything about being successful. And the word, “pursue,” doesn’t mean it has to be forever. If at first you don’t succeed just quit. Just say, “Fuck it. I’m done. Fuck this up and down rollercoaster writing bullshit.” Even better if you shout it.

After that I shouldn’t have to worry about a crazy English professor stalking me in the Safeway parking lot. I think of her every time I walk from my car to the inside of the store. As you can see before being haunted by the dead I was haunted by the living—doubly cursed, or doubly blessed depending on how you look at it.

Though it’s cold and lonely in the deep dark night

I can see paradise by the dashboard light

Ain’t no doubt about it we were doubly blessed

Cause we were barely 17 and we were barely dressed.

Last week, we celebrated to early at the VRR HQ. We were dancing around like a bunch of drunken chicken’s when we got five subscribers in one day. Staff was chanting, “VRR STRONG.”  Up until then, we hadn’t had a new subscriber in about five days, or more. The month of April has officially become April AFib month.

At the Monday morning 9:11am staff meeting we will be prepping, seeking a new CV 19 Vaccine Adverse Reaction name for the month of May that starts with the letter M. Does anyone know of one. This will save me money. I won’t have to pay staff to sit around all day and think of a name. We already used myocarditis for March.

Damn, what a hangover. It’s probably a Bud Lite hangover.

Sunny, eighty degrees yesterday and more today. I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE. This global warming, climate change is REAL.

I’ll be in the garden all day today--Switching to white wine.

VRR Fun Music Fact: The spirit Sabrina looks like Ellen Foley as she looks in this song. You now have a visual should I ever mention her name again. Happy Saturday Subscribers.